


Fear

by SonicCeleste



Series: Crystals and Rolanberries [11]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bard Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Sad cats but happy end, mentions of past character deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25607377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicCeleste/pseuds/SonicCeleste
Summary: “We managed to stop the rejoining, I didn’t turn into a Lightwarden, I saved you! We got a happy ending and no-one had to die for it for the first time in years!! All this time in the First has been too good to me, it can’t stay like this!”A hidden injury at tea time leads to a long-needed conversation for No’a.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: Crystals and Rolanberries [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841296
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> (The title is a reference to how I feel waiting for 5.3)
> 
> So many words... I didn’t expect to take so long writing this but I kept going back and adding things. Hope you enjoy!

“I notice the white’s gone from your hair, No’a. Did you dye it while on the Source?”

“Mmmhm, I was wondering when you’d notice! I’ll admit, it was a bit of a vanity thing… Luckily Jandelaine said the roots are going back to blue, so hopefully I just have to wait for it to grow out. You make white streaks look  _ much _ more beautiful than I ever could, anyway~”

“Ah, well, um… Thank you…”

“... Is something wrong, sweetness?” No’a’s ear flicked with his head tilt and he frowned, glancing at the plate of sandwiches and pastries to his left. “You haven’t touched the food…”

G’raha looked up from his tea. “Hm? Oh, no, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Usually I have to fight dirty since you always forget to eat while you’re working.” The bard leaned forward in his chair to press the back of his hand against G’raha’s forehead. “You’re not ill or anything, are you? Sleeping alright? We can get you something at Spagyrics…”

“NO, no, I-I’m fine!” The thought of that  _ vile _ medicine, ironically, made the Seeker perk up, ducking away from No’a’s hand. “I… I just had a late breakfast today, so I’m not particularly starving. I probably should drink more, though…”

“... Ah, yeah.” After a pause No’a leaned back with a mischevious grin. “I suppose when I’m around, you  _ would _ be rather thirsty instead-“

“No’a! T-that’s not-!”

“Ha! There it is~ I love that I can still see your freckles through such a bright blush, it’s precious~”

G’raha sipped his tea in both a huffy response and in worried thought. He had, so far, made two Very Bad Mistakes today. The first was pushing his limits during today’s soul vessel research - what was at first just a brief flash of pain through his troublesome crystal arm had swiftly turned into tingling, burning hot agony, and even he had to agree with Urianger and Beq Lugg that it was best to stop early for the day before it got any worse. Alas, an unfortunate consequence of an arm made of magical rock was that it was nigh impossible to heal by conventional means, and so all he could do was simply bear the pain and rest it as much as he could until it got better by itself. It wouldn’t have been a problem, but he’d scheduled his afternoon tea with No’a right after he finished his research for the day - the first tea in ages after the bard had left for three weeks in the Source, so there was no way he was going to cancel. Knowing how much No’a would fuss over him if he knew, G’raha subsequently made his second mistake: hiding his injury so as to not worry him. Simple and (in his mind) kind in theory, but practice proved… difficult.

It had been simple enough for G’raha to make his tea with his left hand. The pair usually sat facing each other next to the long table in No’a’s room, so it was simply a matter of sitting at an angle that made it the most convenient way, and though it was most unusual to use his less dominant hand he had made sure not to overreact and bring attention to it. He probably could have gotten away with it… had it not been for No’a’s blessing-enhanced perception. His fluffy blue ear had been flicking almost nonstop, a telltale signal of his suspicion, and although he’d asked after his health No’a had yet to ask about his unmoving arm… Nor had G’raha asked if something was troubling him with his ear flicks in turn, which he realised probably made him seem even more suspicious.

It had been fifteen minutes. In all honesty G’raha wished No’a had just asked about it fourteen minutes ago to get it over with.

“So, how fares Pip back on the Source?” G’raha asked as casually as he could, putting his tea down to pick up a sandwich while his crystal hand remained in his lap. “I wish I could see him again… Few things are as satisfying as petting a chocobo chick, I find.”

“Aw, I’m sure he’d like to see you again too! Though probably because you’d give him all the food in the world more than anything else,” No’a replied with a grin, crossing his legs idly. “He’s the same as ever, although apparently all the Scions at the Rising Stones decided to take turns looking after him and adopted him as an unofficial mascot, so I’m worried his ego will get even bigger than he is. Speaking of, I managed to ask Krile what she thought about him never changing size after all these years? She thinks it’s a chocobo genetics thing. Gave him a clean bill of health too, despite his weight.” No’a suddenly turned sheepish, scratching one of the tattoos on his cheek. “She also, uh… went off on one after I noticed they were similar heights and suggested he was a lalafell in a fat chocobo suit.”

“Of course you did,” G’raha shook his head with a laugh. “And what of your adventurer friends? Any more crazy stories with them?”

“Surprisingly, no.” The bard paused. “... Well, apart from maybe the treasure map.”

Instantly G’raha’s attention peaked. He couldn’t help the smile crawling onto his face as he asked “Treasure map?”

No’a‘s grinned widely and he cleared his throat in an over-the-top fashion before putting on his charmingly pompous ‘theatre voice’. “Our tale stars three intrepid heroes - a man who danced as elegantly as the snow, a woman as talented in botany as she was healing magicks, and the devilishly handsome and charismatic bard known across Eorzea and beyond as the Warrior of Light.”

_ So No’a and his two Miqo’te friends,  _ thought G’raha, nodding along eagerly.  _ I’m glad they’re doing well. _

“The dancer had chanced upon a map rumoured to belong to an infamous thief whose buried treasure was among the stuff of legends - so naturally, the trio set out to find it.” No’a put down his teacup to gesture dramatically. “‘Twas a long, arduous journey that took them through the dry wasteland of Ala Mhigo… Azeyma’s unforgiving sun beat down on our heroes, and all seemed lost to exhaustion… that was until the mage noticed a narrow cave in the shade that seemed to shine inside. They bravely ventured further in, and to their surprise discovered an entire underground dungeon lined top to bottom with ancient gold and jewels! However the tale did not merely end there, for this dungeon was guarded by a fearsome beast…”

G’raha sat on the edge of his seat with a wide smile and eyes full of wonder - he always found himself captivated by No’a’s retellings. “What kind of beast guarded such an ancient trove?”

No’a leaned forward, hunched over and putting on a stage whisper as if telling forbidden information. “It was something that moved with surprising grace for its size and heavy footsteps, and its ginormous empty eyes dwarfed only by its bulbous head. Its arms were thin and weak-looking, yet carried a power that could knock us back a great distance! We didn’t dare underestimate it, for it was…”

“Yes? Yes?”

“... A giant walking vegetable!” No’a grinned widely and leant back on one of his heels, balancing his chair on two legs as he dramatically flicked his wrist. “A monstrous mandragora, I mean. We were victorious, of course, claiming all the treasure we could carry and splitting it between the three of us - though Lily was in a huff for the rest of the journey after Snowflake told her she couldn’t take some of the mandragora home to plant.”

G’raha vaguely remembered that he had to ask soon who those individuals were beyond their nicknames so he could properly thank them for keeping the bard alive - and away from the law, if some of the more scandalous stories were anything to go by. Regardless, he looked at No’a with scepticism. “A… giant mandragora? Really?”

“Yup!”

“In a golden dungeon in Ala Mhigo, of all places?

“Got it in one, sweetness~”

“And you’re  _ sure _ you weren’t delirious from exhaustion?”

No’a put a hand to his chest and gasped in dramatic offence. “My dear Raha, are you accusing me of  _ making up _ my tales? You seemed so in love with the story just a moment ago - or was that stunning gaze directed at me~?”

G’raha smiled with a hint of mischievousness and a blush across his cheeks. “Ah ha… Forgive me, my love. I  _ was _ captivated by your story, but now I’m having a hard time believing it. From what I remember, mandragora are typically no taller than a Dwarf - uh, Lalafell - and for that matter they aren’t found in Ala Mhigo in the first place, let alone in somewhere as strange as an ancient dungeon full of treasures. It all sounds a bit like a faerietale, if you ask me.”

“Oh really?” No’a’s grin turned just as mischievous back. “Then how do you explain your newest present - a gold apron I snatched off an equally golden Namazu?” 

_ Well now he has to be mixing things up, _ G’raha thought with a narrowing of his eyes.  _ Namazu are exclusive to the Far East… _

Oblivious, No’a reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a shiny folded piece of fabric with a polished bell perched on top, holding it out for…

… For the Exarch to take. While his left hand was busy with the sandwich.

He knew.

As much as he wanted to hide it G’raha froze, eyeing the apron and then at No’a, whose grin quickly changed into a knowing stare complete with another suspicious ear flick.

“Well? Aren’t you going to take it, sweetness?”

The nickname just served to make the Exarch’s guilt feel ten times heavier. There wasn’t a point in hiding it anymore. With a defeated sigh G’raha reached out with his crystal hand, took the apron in his grip…

Then it fell to the ground with a  _ clang _ of the bell as unimaginable burning pain shot up his arm once again. He hissed through his teeth, eyes shut tight as he struggled to keep himself calm. How was it  _ still _ this bad? Surely the aether would’ve restored functionality at least somewhat by now-

“Raha…”

Ah, there it was. Slowly, ashamedly, he looked up at No’a, who to his surprise got out of his chair and knelt down in front of him with a guilty look.

“I’m so sorry I made you do that, sweet; I thought you were just going to tell me, rather than… Sorry.” He slowly took the Exarch’s injured arm and examined it, clearly concerned. “I take it then you can’t heal it?”

G’raha shook his head. “The crystal acts differently than mortal flesh, I’m afraid,” he explained, suppressing another hiss as No’a accidentally ran his hand over a sensitive spot which he apologised for again. “It will be fine, don’t worry - but until then all I can do is rest and wait for it to heal by itself. It shouldn’t take more than a day.”

“You’re absolutely certain?”

“Yes.”

“... Alright. That’s good, at least.”

Silence fell. No’a still held his arm lightly, as though it were made of the most fragile glass - it would have been a rather sweet gesture (and perhaps it still was) were it not for the tension in the air. G’raha hesitantly took another bite of the sandwich he still held while he waited for the inevitable question. He’d lied about having the late breakfast too, but that wasn’t important right now.

“... Why did you try to hide it from me?” No’a finally asked, his gaze lifted to the Exarch with a hurt expression.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” G’raha answered. “I know you’re concerned about what the research entails-“

“I have every right to be concerned if this is what it’s doing to you!” No’a stood abruptly, exasperatedly running a hand through his hair. “And to try and _hide_ it? That just makes me even more worried, Raha!”

G’raha simply watched with a heavy ache in his heart as he watched No’a pace the floor of his room - a nervous habit. The hard  _ click-clack _ of his heels against the tile felt like the ticking of the clock on double time. “I  _ knew _ something was wrong… How many times has this happened? How many times have you  _ hurt yourself _ because of this research?”

“This is only the second time,” G’raha answered calmly, honestly this time; yet it did nothing to quell No’a’s outburst.

“ _ Only _ the second time?” No’a turned to stare at him in disbelief. “That’s two times too many, Raha! Working into the night and beyond I can kind of understand, that’s a bad habit you’ve always had - but now this research is causing you  _ physical pain  _ and yet you’re  _ still  _ going through with it?!”

The pacing stopped with a sigh and silence fell again, like a heavy blanket. So much unbearable silence, yet G’raha still remained calm.

“I’m sorry for lying to you,” he said quietly, fidgeting with clear regret in his voice. “I had good intentions, but… I realise my decision was short-sighted.”

“You say that, but you did it anyway.” No’a’s tail flicked from side to side in irritation and he sighed. “I thought we weren’t going to have any more secrets, sweetness?”

“Well, yes…”

“And for that matter, didn’t you promise that you weren’t going to put yourself in danger anymore for our sake? Allie made it  _ quite _ clear that’s no longer an option!”

G’raha involuntarily lifted his left hand to rub at his forehead - his pride was still somewhat hurt from the flicking incident with Alisaie. “Well, I-”

“Then  _ why _ did you lie to me?” No’a folded his arms and looked at the Exarch expectantly. “If you’re  _ that  _ concerned about how I feel, then  _ surely _ you could find a way to do this research without hurting yourself!”

_ It’s not that simple…  _ G’raha sighed and closed his eyes for a second to regain his composure. “No’a, listen to me.” His voice turned stern, making No’a freeze in place. “If there was a simple answer for all of our troubles, I’d take it without hesitation. However the fact of the matter is that there is no such thing for such a complex issue. We need to figure out a solution for soul transference, something nigh unheard of, as soon as possible… and that rush, unfortunately, comes with risks.”

The pacing resumed.

“I know I shouldn’t have hidden the truth from you again, but you must understand that the need to right my wrongs and save your friends takes precedence over everything else at the moment.” He paused to think. “Besides, it’s not as if you can claim to never having done the same - lest you forget,  _ you _ lied to the Scions about the Light having an adverse effect on you until it was almost too late. For the exact same reason that I hid my injury, I might add.”

“That… But that was…” No’a folded his arms and made a disgruntled noise, looking out the open window and to the blue cloudless sky outside. “Alright, fine, I concede that. We’re both as bad as each other about telling the truth regarding our health; that meaning… well, we’re shit at it.”

Though that fact really shouldn’t have made him happy, G’raha smiled nonetheless at No’a’s exasperated but guilty tone.

“But with you, Raha, I don’t… I can’t… Ugh, fuck’s sake…”

A deep breath.

The pacing stopped once again as No’a looked over and then walked back to kneel in front of the Exarch, who remained still in his seat. He gently took crystal and Spoken hands in his, squeezing them lightly. “Raha, we’ve gone through this before. I don’t  _ want _ you to put yourself at risk - none of us do. You shouldn’t keep doing this research at such an abrupt pace if it’s hurting you.”

G’raha simply shook his head. “I understand your concern, but there’s no other way. This situation is directly linked to my Allagan inheritance, and we need a solution before the situations with both Garlemald and Elidibus escalate. You have to understand that research like this - all scientific research to a point - carries risks like these. We’re operating as safely as we can, however - if only because Beq Lugg keeps idly mentioning all the sleep spells they’ve learnt over the years if I try to push my limits…”

A low, half-hearted laugh suddenly escaped the bard’s lips. G’raha felt his heart slowly grow lighter.

“Besides, these minor accidents are nothing compared to the progress we’ve made in such a short span of time.” The Exarch raised his hand to his chin in thought. “Perhaps, if it would ease your worries, I can update you?”

A blue tail swished from side to side as No’a thought - he was clearly considering G’raha’s argument. Even in such a serious conversation, the Seeker couldn’t help but smile to himself again watching his beloved - for someone who could so easily cut through the most hidden of expressions, it was remarkably easy to tell what was on the bard’s mind.

“... What progress have you made, then?” No’a asked, looking up with a forced smile - he was trying to be optimistic, but his concern was still clear as day. “Uh, not too specific, though. The others are the scholars, not me.”

The Exarch hummed and gestured for No’a to sit in his chair again, finishing his sandwich ( _ gods _ he was starving) before reaching for his teacup and taking a sip. “Well, we’re fairly certain we’ve got the spirit vessel’s core design down to its most complete form; we’ve been optimising it bit by bit since we last showed you, but now Beq Lugg insists any further adjustments would be pointless. As for the methods of imbuing it with the Allagan Eyes’ power, there remains the only two options; adjust the way it’s inherited, or find a way to imbue my blood into the vessel.”

“Your… blood.” No’a’s head fell low, his expression unseen behind the curtains of his hair. “I forgot about that.”

G’raha nodded. “At the moment we’re trying to charge it using my and subsequently the Tower’s aether, and though it’s been promising we’ve… yet to see any real success. So Urianger’s been theorising about how much blood-“

“No.”

Red eyes blinked in surprise. “... Pardon?”

“I said no.” No’a’s voice suddenly turned stern, his chair moving back with a horrible  _ screech _ as he rose from his seat. “The aether charge was fine, but I  _ forbid _ you from using your blood with this spirit vessel.”

G’raha gave him a look of concern - he’d only just accepted that the research was risky, certainly, but why was he reacting so strongly just at the mention of his blood? It was the next logical step to take…

“No’a… You’re still worried, I understand, but I doubt it’ll be as serious as you think-“

“ _ But what if it is?! _ ”

The Exarch jumped a little in his seat. No’a’s shout echoed just slightly against the stone walls, and his gaze was fierce… yet G’raha could tell that he wasn’t angry, rather… scared. His suddenly hunched over posture only served to further that thought. “You said you haven’t tried it yet, right? You don’t know yet!”

G’raha frowned. “From what Urianger has proposed… We need to do more tests, but it shouldn’t be anything more than a small vial at a time-“

“No. No, no, with my luck, it’ll need  _ everything, _ ” No’a interrupted, burying his face in his hands.

“With… your luck?” G’raha repeated. It was a simple phrase, yet combined with No’a’s uncharacteristic panic he had a feeling it was anything but - there was a deeper issue entangled in this.

“Don’t you see? Things have been going _too_ well, Raha!” No’a’s voice started to shift, less angry and more fearful. “We managed to stop the rejoining, I didn’t turn into a Lightwarden, _I saved you!_ We got a happy ending and no-one had to die for it for the first time in _years!!_ All this time in the First has been _too_ _good_ to me, it can’t stay like this!”

G’raha kept silent, simply watching No’a as he slowly, self-consciously recovered from his outburst and took his more usual posture… though he seemed smaller.

“Something has to go wrong soon, sweetness… It always does.” No’a wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, looking at G’raha with an expression that made him look so tired, so  _ fragile,  _ it made the Seeker’s heart ache more than his arm. Instantly he was on his feet, teacup discarded as he pulled No’a into the tightest hug he could manage. It was a bit of a struggle, his sight partially blocked by crystal blue hair as the bard buried his face into the crook of his neck and almost crushed G’raha in his strong grip, but he pushed through it. Each pulse of aether through his arm was like a spark of burning electricity tearing through his being, but he pushed through it.

“... I’m sorry,” No’a eventually mumbled again, his ears pinned back in shame and brushing against faded red hair. “I’m so sorry for acting like that, Raha. It’s not your fault, it’s mine…”

It seemed like he had more to say but he stopped himself, unusually hesitant. G’raha wasn’t surprised - despite his penchant for sweet-talking his way into solving people’s problems, talking about his own troubles had always seemed to be a weakness of his even with the Scions’ help in recent times.

_ We’re both as bad as each other,  _ G’raha thought with another small, sad smile.

He lifted his hand to gently stroke the bard’s hair, which to his relief seemed to relax No’a (and his grip around G’raha’s poor squished chest) some. ”You’re quite forgiven, my love - it’s clear that something’s on your mind.”

A subtle movement against his neck indicated that No’a had silently nodded in response.

“I’m more than happy to listen, if you wish,” G’raha gently coaxed. “I realise you’re likely still mad at me, but I hope you can still confide in me, at least.”

“Always,” No’a replied instantly, and G’raha found himself inwardly sighing in relief. The bard gently pulled away and trailed his touch down the Exarch’s arms until he held his hands, staring at them intensely while he gathered his thoughts. “... I might… go off a bit, fair warning.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” G’raha reassured him, glad that he was already talking about it openly.

“... Okay.”

Both fell silent again. G’raha watched as No’a closed his eyes, his ears flicking not in suspicion this time, but rather towards the gentle chatter of the Crystarium residents from outside the large window. He waited patiently until the bard cleared his throat and spoke low, as if revealing forbidden information.

“... I’m… scared, Raha.”

No’a paused to take a deep breath, like those three words alone took all his effort to say. For the seemingly unshakeable Warrior, known two worlds over for his bravery, it probably did.

“I’ve noticed a pattern, these last few years. It’s simple - almost cruelly so. Something good happens first, maybe something miraculous after a hard fight, to get my spirits up… But then, inevitably, everything comes crashing down and… and I have to watch someone I care about die. It’s happened time and time again. It started with the attack at the Sands, then there was Moenbryda, Wilred, Haurchefant, Ysayle, Mide, Papalymo, Minfilia… I thought  _ you  _ were lost too.”

G’raha stayed quiet but nodded along, encouraging No’a to continue - even though he could already tell where this was going.

“When I saw your face for the first time at Mount Gulg I thought I was seeing a ghost, or that the Light was making me hallucinate - then I was so  _ relieved  _ that you were actually there, alive and well. You were one of the few who survived the pattern! But… when I realised you were  _ sacrificing yourself _ again, this time for good… If I was able to speak at the time I would have begged you to stop. Gods only know what would have happened if Hades hadn’t…”

He trailed off again - the events that took place on the mountain were best left unsaid right now. G’raha took the time to squeeze No’a’s hands in reassurance, gently bumping their foreheads together. “Take your time, love. It’s okay. I’m listening.”

No’a took a minute before he spoke again, clearly sorting through his own feelings at the same time as he was relaying them. His gaze remained firmly fixed on their joined hands. “I couldn’t lose you - not someone who managed to survive the pattern, not again. So I went down to Amaurot, put all my energy into saving you from Hades… and it  _ worked.” _ The corners of his mouth twitched into a small smile, like he couldn’t help it. “I couldn’t believe it, honestly, but I did everything I could to make the most of it.”

“Is… that why you laid on the flirting so heavily?” G’raha asked quietly but playfully in a small bid to lift his spirits, and to his relief No’a chuckled at that.  _ Small victories. _

“It was… part of it, at least.” No’a finally looked up, a small but genuine smile on his face as he leaned in to give G’raha a quick kiss - a reminder - before he continued. “With the ways things are at the moment, I am happier than I’ve been in quite a long time, but… there’s still that lingering  _ dread _ at the back of my mind, the cynical darkness, convincing me that something disastrous is inevitably going to happen to counteract all this good, and… And I’m  _ terrified _ it’s going to happen to you, Raha, because you’re the best thing I have in my life right now. That’s why I was so worried. I just need you to be safe. If something happened to you, after all this…”

No’a trailed off for the final time. G’raha gently squeezed his hands in comfort, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say, in truth. It  _ did  _ explain No’a’s recent protective behaviour lately, which he first wrote off as just him working too hard as usual and No’a getting on his case about it… Well, maybe it was a bit of that as well. Regardless, it wasn’t as if he could dispel the worries of his beloved warrior as simply overthinking; with an Ascian like Elidibus around there  _ was _ a constant threat, and a severely dangerous one at that. As much as everyone could try to protect each other, they were all at risk of falling to the emissary’s mind tricks. But what  _ could  _ he say? G’raha desperately wanted to address the bard’s worries, but empty promises that everything will be fine were hardly going to help…

_ … I suppose… Yes, that would work. _

G’raha nodded to himself - accidentally making No’a hum in surprise from the friction of hair against skin.

_ Oh, right. Oops. _

G’raha pulled away sheepishly and instead lifted No’a’s chin with his hand so that warm and loving ruby eyes gazed softly into tired, glistening amber.

“No’a Katri… My beloved Warrior, my dearest inspiration. You’ve given me a sense of joy and hope that I thought long forgotten in my centuries of living. For so long I thought myself a mere messenger, a vessel of the tower, a supporting role in others’ grand tales, and had accepted such a fate without a second thought… Yet you’ve taught me, gradually, that I am so much more than that, and for that I can never thank you enough. All that I am, body, mind and soul, is yours, and each day I wish for nothing more than to be by your side and to experience the adventures that life brings us, together.”

A deep blush had overtaken No’a’s face as he seemed to forget how to breathe for a second, eyes fixed on the Seeker with an expression that G’raha somewhat bashfully recognised as being lovestruck. He couldn't help but chuckle at the bard before continuing.

“With all that in mind, my love… Do you think I’d give in to defeat so easily?”

No’a’s eyes widened in recognition, but he said nothing. G’raha moved his hand from his chin to softly push away a stray lock of blue hair from the bard’s face and rub his thumb over one of No’a’s cheek tattoos affectionately.

“It’s an unavoidable truth that we are in a difficult situation right now,” he admitted. “It could take just one subtle trick from the self-proclaimed emissary to throw our plans into disarray. As such, I cannot make a promise that I won’t put myself in harm’s way for the sake of you and the Scions, for it wouldn’t be one I could keep…”

No’a looked away, resigned but understanding. It wasn’t as if he’d be able to make that promise either…

“... However, I _ can _ promise this instead.”

No’a looked up as G’raha smiled brightly, full of hope - as if no time had passed since the expedition. Even in his half-muddled mind, he made a mental note to make the Exarch smile like that more often.

“Despite the troubling means by which you all came to this world, you and the Scions still fought valiantly to save the First and everything in it,” G’raha reminded him. “It’s only fair that in turn, I vow to fight with everything I have to protect what you have saved - my life included. I have no intention of willingly relinquishing myself or this star to malicious forces any time soon.”

His smile turned softer, his voice lowering to a whisper as he leant in closer to No’a until the only light left between them was the glowing of his eyes.

“And… if I may be selfish for a moment… I’m certainly not going to leave you when we’ve got so much more to do together.”

In a rare act of boldness, G’raha kissed No’a before he could respond; chaste at first to test the waters, then another, deeper, as he held his face tenderly. The kiss was impossibly warm, soft and overflowing with affection - it was his final act of reassurance, letting him know that with a love as strong as he felt for No’a, G’raha wouldn’t dare throw it all away anymore. Not after finally reaching the star that he’d been following all these years. Or in No’a’s case, perhaps the moon was more accurate? No matter.

He felt the bard’s breath hitch against him before gladly reciprocating, wrapping his arms around the Seeker and pulling him in close, his grip still crushingly strong but out of love rather than fear this time around. He was certain that had they not been the same height, No’a would’ve easily picked him up off the ground. It was a subtle change, but one G’raha marked as another victory, and as they finally parted for breath he noticed with a flutter of his chest that No’a refused to let go of him.

“Now then, does that ease your worries, my love?” He asked with a gentle scritch to the base of No’a’s ear. No’a leaned into the touch and let out a sound that almost seemed like a purr.

“Mm… Yeah,” the bard admitted. “I’m still a bit concerned, honestly, but… Knowing you’re not going to pull the martyr card anymore helps. Fighting to your last breath I can live with.”

G’raha nodded somewhat solemnly, glad that things at least seemed to be resolved for the time being. It was, admittedly, a tad eerie to resolve a relationship conflict by promising to fight for your life until your last breath, but their circumstances were… unique, he supposed. No’a had probably made the same promise a number of times. Such was the nature of the Warrior of Light.

With one last ear scritch G’raha moved to sit back down in his chair, intent on finishing their afternoon tea… only to have No’a follow him, kneeling down and using his arms as pillows to lay his head in the Seeker’s lap.

“Uh… You’re going to get crumbs in your hair and an ache in your knees, No’a,” he pointed out with a light blush dusting his cheeks as he took another sandwich from the long-forgotten tray on the table (the tea was probably cold by now… blast). No’a shrugged, his hair falling over his closed eyes.

“I want to be close for a bit,” he said simply before his trademark mischievous grin appeared. “That beautiful kiss made me realise how much I missed you while I was on the Source~”

“I-I see… Well, I missed you too,” G’raha replied, using his crystal hand (which thankfully had started to recover) to stroke the bard’s hair. No’a must have been feeling better if he was flirting again… “I don’t have anything else scheduled today since the research was cut short, so we can spend the evening together if you’d like?”

No’a merely hummed and happily swished his tail in agreement, clearly too relaxed on G’raha’s lap to react too strongly. Or maybe he was too tired? Perhaps a quiet night in was in order. They could both use the break.

“... Actually, why don’t you come to the Umbilicus tomorrow as well and observe our experiments?” G’raha suggested. “Not only can we have each other’s company then, but I can also explain everything we’re working on in more detail so you have a better understanding of the processes.”

“With all due respect sweetness, if it needs three experts to get anywhere I think your voice would stay longer in my mind than anything you say,” No’a mumbled with a low chuckle that made the Exarch blush further. “I… wouldn’t mind popping in though. We’ll see if I can wake up before noon.”

G’raha scoffed at that, knowing full well that No’a was liable to miss the entire morning if he wasn’t there in the first place to wake up the bard. He didn’t dare point that out though.

“... Oh, I thought I felt something odd against my leg. Here, Raha, the apron- Agh, shit…!”

“I  _ told _ you that you’d get an ache… Maybe we should find somewhere more comfortable. The gardens, maybe?”

Still… despite his vague answer, G’raha had a feeling No’a was definitely going to visit tomorrow.


End file.
